Choosing Home over Hustle
I have spent most of my life praying and seeking God to give me a purpose. I’ve been all over the place over the years. I have listened to family opinions and perhaps too much of the culture’s views. I was told to go to school, get a degree, earn money, and pursue more degrees to be happy. Having a title or adding more letters to the end of your name will make you happy. I took all the right courses and earned all the right grades, but when deciding on a degree or future career, I couldn’t choose. I started in pharmacy, switched to biology, and even briefly tried business management. The one I stuck with the longest was early childhood education. I still didn’t know what to do, who to be, or what I thought God expected me to do or be.
A Young Wife and Mother:
I got married at 18 and had a daughter at 20. Once I had my daughter, I only wanted to care for her, my husband. I choose home. I’ve various things to earn a little money. I became a licensed family childcare provider. I loved being home and caring for children; when our daughter was old enough, I could homeschool. Many people told me and acted as if I were an awful person for not putting my child in daycare or school, so I could go out and work. Some of these people were family. I listened and prayed, hoping God would give me some sign saying, “This is the way, walk ye in it.” Over the years, I’ve taken about a million personality tests, and they never highlighted anything that clearly showed me who and what I ought to be.
A New Season:
I am now an empty nester, and I still spend much time praying and asking the question: What do I do? I have spent the last several years helping care for my grandbabies, but they are reaching an age where they don’t need me as much. I’ve tried various courses and worked at a few places, like the library, which I enjoyed, and I made a brief attempt at being a virtual assistant. I thought it was an answer to prayer when I secured an internship with a wonderful mentor, and I enjoyed it while learning a lot. I have studied and worked hard, but it still feels wrong.
Time for Reflection
My husband and I are traveling for a car show, and I always listen to audiobooks while driving. This trip, I’ve been listening to “The 12 Week Year.” It’s a good book; if you can read it and do the work, you will reach your goals and stay motivated. One thing most business or self-help books ask you to do is imagine or create the life you want to have five years from now. Being stuck in a car for nine hours can help you get some thinking done! At one point, I zoned out and started scrolling, bored. I admit it—I was once again feeling stuck with no clear vision for the next year, let alone five years. This popped up on my screen:
And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we have instructed you.
Is this an answer? Am I just overthinking this? It could be, but I keep repeating things in my head. Do I choose home?
A Five-Year Vision
What have I come up with for my five-year plan? It’s this: I want to write, take care of my family, home, garden, and bees. I might get lucky and find a few places to sell my beeswax, soy candles, plants, and herbs from my garden. I’m 54; maybe it’s too late for me to be something incredible or change the world. All I want to do is take care of my husband, live a frugal life, and care for my family and home. I choose home over hustle.
I’m reading books and researching homemakers and women’s lives throughout history. I want to learn if there were women like me who enjoyed and thrived while living simply and caring for their homes and families, or did most women view staying home as the awful life I’ve been told they had.
An Invitation
I plan to write about homemaking, or rather, a brief history of homemaking from the 1920s to the 1950s. I believe women faced many challenges and choices throughout history. My grandmother was born in August of 1920, just as the 19th Amendment was ratified, granting women the right to vote. I would start there to explore how the world impacted the home and homemakers. I hope you will return to join me on this little adventure through time.